Engagement season is upon us! You may even be the one getting married this year, in which case, congratulations!
Let’s say you don’t really need anything and would really rather prefer it if someone gave you cash as a gift to use to pay down the wedding or for the honeymoon, but are a bit confused as how to ask for cash instead of a gift.
Here are a few methods you could use to ask for money instead of a gift:
1. Casually ask around for advice on how to do this
I had a friend who casually mentioned to me and a few other friends that she’d really prefer to get cash instead of a gift but had no idea if she should write it on the invitation, or tell people informally (who ask) that she’s more keen on cash.
As a result, word kind of spread as to what the bride would prefer, and we all gave cash. It’s a rather polite, indirect and inoffensive way to make sure your wishes are known without blatantly writing on the invite: CASH GIFTS ONLY PLEASE.
For me, this is the best and most inoffensive method.
2. Register for a few things at a store you actually shop at
There will always inevitably be a couple or a family that feels awkward giving cash as a gift. For these people, you will need to register somewhere. Why not register somewhere that you actually shop at, and perhaps you can return the items and obtain a credit for the store to use?
Sure, it’s not ideal because it isn’t cash that you can use to pay down on your wedding or use, but at least it won’t be to some random store where you will have to desperately try and figure out a way to use that credit, or face the prospect of keeping yet another bread maker you won’t use.
3. Mention on the invitation “No boxed gifts”
If you feel the need to let everyone know directly that gifts should be in cash, then a discreet “no boxed gifts” should suffice, or a sweet little note about how you are going to use the cash gift if your guest chooses to give cash instead of a physical gift.
Something along the lines of how much you appreciate having them there on your wedding day, and if they would like to give a gift, you’d be appreciative of any cash donations that would go towards your future [insert item here such as a home].
Otherwise, also make mention of where you are registered just in case they still feel the compulsive need to give a gift.
The bottom line is whatever method you use, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
A gift is a gift, even if it isn’t exactly what you wanted. Throwing a fit, or complaining is just poor etiquette and you should write a lovely “Thank You” card no matter what, and besides, a wedding is not about getting gifts or cash, it’s about openly celebrating the fact that you are going to spend the rest of your life with your loved one.
Ooo, this is such a difficult topic! I honestly have never seen it done well, but I’ve also gone to very few weddings, so take my 2 cents with a grain of salt 😉 My plan is to register at places we shop at, and also casually ask/mention around (your #1 tip). Crossing my fingers that won’t insult anyone!
Melissa @ Sunburnt Saver recently posted…Happy Thanksgiving!
This is good advice! I’m not even dating anyone these days, but I feel as someone likely to get married in my late 30s or even 40s, I’ll probably already have all the furnishings I could possibly need – and he probably would too. Who even really uses those huge, fancy china sets anymore?
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I saw an invitation before where they mentioned that the “bride and groom would live in a fully-furnished house thus they appreciate cash gifts”. Very polite and effective!
I can see that working in some instances. 🙂